Monday, November 27, 2017

"It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small..."

P.S. You can't judge me for quoting a line from a song from "Frozen"!

Stay with me, here:  The upcoming post contains some slightly heavy stuff.  94.3% (realistically) of the time, I am happy, outgoing, and excited about life!  BUT AT THIS VERY MOMENT, I'm going through a ton of reflection.  #SorryNotSorry I gotta get all of this out somewhere.  You're a pretty good listener/reader, so you'll have to be my outlet.

Let's start off with something that has become EXTREMELY obvious to me:  I have been so very anxious.  Over everything.  True story.  I know that we all worry about everything + random things + things that never existed + things we cannot control + things we did a LONG time ago, etc.  Maybe I'm at the point where I'm kind of realizing it, and even worse, that it may be affecting me.


I don't lose sleep that often, and it's been happening a bit lately.  I started thinking about how active I've been, about how low-energy I am, and how my recovery has been shoddy (my legs feel a little heavy when I'm not training).

I was pondering about all of these things while I was out doing my long run yesterday (as we usually do!).  Am I worrying to the point of it physically affecting me?  Is that even possible?  Because seriously, when I get home, I hit the couch like it's my second job.  I'll go for meals that take very little prep time, if any at all, and I feel soooooooo lazy about that.  Simple tasks get put off, because I feel exhausted.


I'm making some changes, nutrition and training-wise, so I'm hoping that I get a bit more energy soon.  I feel like I'll need some major mental and emotional renovations before I can let go of some things that bother me.  I know that's probably the story of everyone's life; I've never really considered stress maintenance before, and with the end of the year right around the corner, it probably feels more overwhelming than usual.  I have a small, short plan, that I can elaborate on later.

What I NEED to focus on (in short):
  • Staying healthy and getting stronger
  • Being an awesome Physical Educator for my students
  • Being a fantastic human to Windy, and wife to Harry
  • Keeping my house clean (I'm being very humble about this -- it's never as clean as I want it to be)
  • Doing things that make ME ME ME happy! 
What I NEED to STOP worrying about (just a few examples to give you the idea of what I'm legit concerned about as of late):
  • HONESTY:  Letting people down.  I love everyone, and I know that everyone loves me.  I don't have to worry about someone not liking me, nor do I have to worry about pissing someone off or awkward social interactions.  
  • Traffic -- Chicago Traffic.  Who the frick cares how long it takes me to get from point A to point B?  I have to get there, so why is it a big deal?
  • Not doing the right thing.  I'm serious.  That's something DUMB to worry about, and whether I do the wrong thing or not, I'll take into account every detail to make the best decision.
I'm working on that plan now, and even started thinking about it during my run yesterday.  Six of the 11.26 miles were with Windy -- that's a distance PR for her!  This is my longest run this year, and I felt a lot better after sorting through some of my *above* thoughts.

*Cue the line from "Let It Go"*

ALSO -- We are taking off this week for the St. Jude Memphis Marathon weekend -----> I'm doing the half.  It's going to be hilly, and seeing as how I'm pretty undertrained, I'm planning on taking it slow and low.  Getting a little over 11 miles made me feel secure about getting the distance done.


Chocolate milk and a 'nanner + chapped lips + creepy eyes, post-run.


And then this feast for lunch...ohmygaaaaaaaaaaaash.  Turkey breast, smoked bacon, and avocado on toast is my NEW FAVORITE combo for a sammich!  I had the best mini-nap after eating this.  And I dreamed about this sammich.


Windy, PR and all, was out for about 80% of the day.  FYI:  She was snoring when I took this picture. <3


The other 20% was spent begging and high-fivin' (or ten) for some noms.  Dogs:  They get hungry after runs, just like us!

(Side note:  Look at her tail.  She's balanced like a kangaroo.)


Harry made some turkey chili, using Lone Star as a base.  It really was the perfect way to end the long break.


Have an awesome day, friend.  I'll send you hugs if you send me some, too!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you handle stress, friend?  For real.


What was dinner for you last night?


Do you like to hang out and chill when you get home from a long day, or do you get busy with other things?


2 comments:

  1. Aww, Tiffany...from one stressed out gal to another, I say, don't be so hard on yourself! I'm not good at this either and reading your post made me think that I could have written it. Sigh.

    Good luck this weekend on your half!

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  2. Ugh, I know that up at night feeling, tossing and turning and agonizing over things you can't change.. the mantra I use for myself is "worry is a waste of the imagination". Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. :/

    Hope your anxiety calms down and gives you some space!

    ReplyDelete

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