Wednesday, June 22, 2016

A place in this World.

FROM NOW ON until September something (I think we go back to school the day after Labor day...I guess I'll check on that sooner or later), you can expect posts later in the day from me.  I'm sleeping in every day!  EVERY DAY.

I'm so kidding.  I'm still going to get up with the sun (4:45am-5:00am-ish), but I'll get to take more naps.:)


Running + taking a picture of your shadow = best way to confuse others around you.


Work husband brought me this, and for the first time in my life, I fell in love with ice coffee!

I know what you're thinking, and really, I have no idea what took me so long, either.


All of those balloons yesterday for the Field Day had to be transported half a mile away from the school.  It only made sense to pack our friend's van to get them over there.


One Popsicle from my Principal, and another from one of my fave students.


The third was from another teacher who was buying for his class.  This was the right thing to do.


We all got back to the school, put equipment away, and cleaned up our office, about 45 minutes before the final bell rang for summer break.  When it did, my Boss threw this over the PA system:


I wanted to try something, and I'm so happy that I did.  I'm not a sugary drink type of person; I gave up Coca-Cola a LONG time ago, and mostly drink water and coffee.

But Frozen Hot Chocolate?  After spending all day outside in the sun, with only three Popsicles for relief (not nearly enough), it sounded like a great idea to me.  And after one sip, that great idea was confirmed.:D


Thanks to GrubHub, Harry and I were able to make a good choice for dinner.



***LIVE UPDATE*** Harry is currently watching the USA vs. Argentina soccer game as I'm typing to you guys.  He's cussing a little.
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True story: Deb makes me think and reflect on way more than I ever thought I would in one post.

Deb Runs

Another true story:  Every once in a while (like once a year), I will feel as though I don't have a spot.  I know that that's a very vague, quite dramatic statement, but it's the best way to express how I feel at those times.  I don't feel sad, mad, or upset.  I'm not depressed or anxious.
I just feel like I don't have a place in this World.

Lost.

(Side-true story:  This part in "Lilo & Stitch" makes me cry.  Every.single.time.  I wonder if it's because it such a sad scene [it's simple, but it's pretty intense for a Disney movie], or if it's because I can relate.)


At any rate, those moments usually last for about half a day, where I just feel lost on this planet.  My focus is still okay; it's not like I'm unresponsive or in a daze.  Things just don't feel right.  I don't want to say that this is a pit of any sort -- I don't feel like it's something I have to crawl out of, and I don't feel helpless.

Often when things like this come over me (an emotion or feeling that is anything other than happy), I feel like I should embrace it.  I'm feeling it for a reason.  Facing this feeling makes me convinced that I'm more in control of the situation.  I might do some things to help me recognize who I am, why I'm here (it involves a lot of scripture and some blog posts, maybe one of my favorite movies ["Pride & Prejudice", "Sabrina" {Audrey version, tyvm}, etc.]), and I eat something yummy (yeah, are you shocked by that?).

I know this sounds so grim, but it's something about myself that I'm actually kind of proud of; years ago, I was dealing with this feeling of Lost in an entirely different way.  (Not drugs, not alcohol, but not healthy.)  Feeling like you don't belong is kind of terrible, no matter the intensity.  For that matter, feeling anything other than happy is often terrible.  Gaining more control, facing that yucky feeling, and telling it who's boss may help!  Recognize that you're feeling a certain way, look it up and down, and let it happen.  It's not bad.  It's not scary.  It's you getting a hold of yourself, and feeling something you were apparently meant to experience.  Honor it, but don't let it take over.  You may not know why you needed to feel that way, at least at that moment.  But I believe this is part of any learning process.

Maybe this has happened to me just for me to write this blog post.  *le shrug*

But really?  It's so I can learn more about myself.  I've learned that I like control (DUHHHHH!), but even over myself.  I've also learned that I'll give something a chance (like a yucky, lost feeling), and let it take over, just because I'm positive that I need to face it.  That tells me that sometimes I'm brave and curious (a dangerous mix sometimes -- you won't find me near any of those really hot peppers you see on "Man Vs. Food"!).  So really?  Feeling lost, if even for a short amount of time, has really helped me feel more found in the long run (figuratively and literally:)
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Iced coffee ====> Yay or nay?


What is your Wednesday workout?


Do you sometimes feel like you don't have a place here?
Newsflash:  You do.:)

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