Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Complicated Feelings -------> I am a Stepmom

Hey, y'all, how are you?!  I thought I'd touch on something a little personal today.  It is Tuesday, for cryin' out loud.  And to be honest, it's something I've been dealing with ---- in a constructive and awesome way.  

I know.  Why on earth would I not write about running on a running blog.  Like, that doesn't ever happen.

Fact:  I have never wanted to have a child.  I don't know what it is; I just never had maternal need or want in me.  I remember wanting to get my tubes tied at 20 years old (which I never did, and that was because it was kind of costly for a 20 year-old, ha).  I didn't plan on having kids when I was previously married.  And really, I do have bouts where I wonder "what if...", but I work with 500 kids every day, and I'm perfectly fine with having them between the hours of 8:00am and 3:00pm.:)  I'm not at all curious about the physical, mental, and emotional effects of having a baby.

Before you get aggravated with me:  This doesn't mean that I don't like babies or children.  I work, bond with, take care of, and teach 500 kids every work day.  Each and every single one of them has a different personality, with different variables.  I absolutely love my job, no matter how much of a train wreck my day can be.

Backpedal:  Harry and I had been friends for several years before we started dating/I moved up to Chicago/we got married and lived happily ever after. As Facebook friends, I saw Sophia pop up in my newsfeed every once in a while, with Daddy-Daughter hot chocolate or a random family photo.

I remember commenting on a picture, showing a few friends that were around me at the time, and pretty much losing my mind over how adorable she was.  Never ever was there a clue that we would one day be in each others' World.

Yes.  Mandatory to post that picture.

So while I've never been a fan of having a baby, I knew that when Harry and I began our relationship that living vicariously through him and Sophia's Mom would be a great adventure!  

One thing that I've had a really tough time with is that title "Stepmom".  I really like to think of mine and Sophs' relationship more of a BFF status, but that's just me resisting *stepmotherly* instincts, I believe.  I don't think it was until I asked what Sophs calls me around other people that I realized that she sees me as way more than a buddy.  She was instantly taken with me, but it was probably because the first time we met, we made Nutella-stuffed chocolate chip cookies.  Ambitious?  Yes.  We rocked those cookies so hard.  And she has been my little buddy ever since.

Nonetheless, she's fun.  She's trained, but still in human-training.  She's smart, nay, intelligent, but is still learning...every.single.day.  She lives in a very awesome World, no matter the challenges the adults in her life have to face.  We enable each other --------> A LOT.  Also?  We take cute pictures together.

And about that enabling thing.  She makes it okay to buy cool things, for no real reason.

I get to live through her eyes as a child, and that's one of my favorite parts.

She makes it cool to be weird.

One word:  FROYO

Sophs has her moments, but they don't last too long.

One of my favorite things about the Munchkin = SHE LOVES EVERYONE.  It's like she knows no stranger, but in a good, not scary way.


She helps me embrace traditions, especially when Harry might not see the point.

More food.  We like it.

She clearly trusts me with every inch of her being.

She likes to do fun errands with me, like picking up my wedding dress.  She thought it was a blast.:)


When she FaceTimes me....hilarious.

She runs with Harry and I.  Though she's VERY active (she's a Black Belt in Karate!), we love instilling the love of being active and running with her.

It doesn't matter where we are, if I put my hand behind me to slightly reach out for hers, she'll run up and grab it.  That's kind of sweet.<3

She loves to cook and bake with us.


We work as a team to drive Harry bananas.

And one of the best things ever ------ no matter how much of a difficult time she's going through, no matter how much is going on, no matter the weather or her level of hyper, she will always opt for sweet and chill.  The moments of peace and comfort that I capture mean the world to me.

My favorite picture of her (that I've taken, anyway) ---------->

While I never saw a child in my future home, I'm thankful for the situation with which God blessed me.  I pretty much won the Stepkid lottery, that I'm completely and utterly aware of.  Mine and Harry's relationship would not be the same without her.  And no matter how much I resist this, what I have is a wonderful little family, just the three of us.  It's complicated.  It's sweet.  It's weird, awesome, awkward at times, and really cool.:)

Enough about me ------ HOW ARE YOU?!  Thumbs up or down on life right now?

Do you have any fun Valentine's Day plans?

RANDOM:  Are you a morning or afternoon workout kind of person?
-I'd totally rather get it done and over with, so I'm a big time morning person!


  1. Love the blog. Makes me wonder if I will every have grand kids. You, and you step-daughter are blessed to have each other.

  2. I love you. I love this post. So much. There just isn't anything else that I can say other than all the feels. xoxoxoxoxox

  3. I love you. I love this post. So much. There just isn't anything else that I can say other than all the feels. xoxoxoxoxox

  4. Sweetest post ever. <3 Good job, step-mama.

  5. She is adorable!! Such a good stepmama!! No Valentines Day plans - we usually skip the crowd! And definitely an afternoon exerciser if possible!

  6. This is a wonderful post. You are an amazing and beautiful person. You have a wonderful relationship with your stepdaughter and she is lucky to have you. I am happy she is surrounded by someone that adores her and does so many fun things with her.

    By the way, nothing wrong with NOT wanting to had kids. I feel the same way and I am surrounded by kids all day. Maybe not as many as you but still.


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